Key West: Bahia Honda

If we had known to make camping reservations a day in advance, this is where we would have stayed: an idyllic, hillbilly-free spot on the water. Camping or no camping, we still deserved a day at the beach before we headed back to Ft. Lauderdale.

Fried hogfish sandwich for lunch.

Aside from a few visitors comparing the beach to Ocean City, the beach was peaceful. 

“Is that a koala in the water?” – Ayk without his glasses

Pelicans diving in the water for fish. 

Walking along the defunct bridge, ruined by a hurricane.

It runs parallel to Route 1.

Key West: Hemingway House

As a Spanish major, I was required to love Hemingway.  Hell, I’d still love his work even if I had no interest in the Spanish culture.  I could drone on about how great his work is, but you’re here to read my writing.  Yes, a travel blog really does compare to a Noble Laureate’s masterpieces.  Whether you’re a huge fan or you’ve simply heard of him, it’s well worth the visit.  Be sure to go on a guided tour, otherwise you’ll miss out on all the great stories.


Speaking of which, there will be a lot of pictures featured in this post that will be somewhat esoteric.  You'll just have to go to Hemingway's house to listen to them yourself.  Or you can always ask us in person.

One of the many lavish chandeliers bought by his second wife.

The 40 some-odd cats, descendants from one that was a gift from a sailing buddy, are the second biggest expense at the historic house.  It looks like I caught this cat in a transient mid-stretch, but my camera was not that fast.  He’s a ham and kept that pose for a few good minutes.  That’s showmanship.

Another perspective.

This picture is so badass.  Hemingway reminds me a lot of my grandfather, who went on safaris in the 50s and 60s.  Somehow my father got a hold of two massive animal heads, just a few of my grandfather’s collection, and hung them in our house.  One of them was a kudu.  Seeing that picture fondly reminded me of home.

Joe, the owner of the still famous bar Sloppy Joe’s and one of Hemingway’s friends, told him living next to the lighthouse would help him find his way home after a night of drinking.

Our tour guide gets extra points for looking like Hemingway.

Hemingway’s writing room.  More animal heads!

The first in-ground swimming pool in Key West.  We won't get into details, but this was essentially a costly fight between Hemingway and his second wife.

They acted like petty children.

And their quarrels could not be more amusing to his friends or fans.

Just trust us and don't drink from this fountain.

 One of the many polydactyl, or many-toed, cats on the estate. 

Cats with extra toes on their paws are considered to be good luck to sailors.  I'm no sailor, but I'd want a cat with "thumbs" if I were hitchhiking.

Ayk with a banana tree.

Me with a polydactyl cat.

Key West: Hillbillies, PePe’s and Rt 1

Campground

Looking for cheap lodging in Key West is virtually impossible.  After calling half a dozen campsites, we found one relatively close that didn’t require reservations a day in advance.  Clearly, we were scraping the barrel.  And boy, was that obvious at this site.

Right as we were about to fall asleep in our paper-thin tent, we heard, “Fuck you, you fucking punk!”  Oh great.  Hillbillies.  Ayk somehow managed to fall asleep after that first screeching, while my fear that all rednecks living at campsites carry guns kept me wide awake.  It’s an oddly specific fear, but it’s rightly justified.  The hillbilly continued: “You stupid, fucking slut!”  What a charmer.  The fight went on for a couple more minutes before someone peeled out on a motorcycle.  I’d honestly rather deal with howling coyotes than these yammering yokels.

We woke up around 5AM to the sound of feral roosters, which kept crowing until we left around 8 AM.  Eventually, we tuned them out and fell back asleep, only to be woken by naval and commercial jets flying over the campsite.  I wish we could assure you that the campsite was fragrant and didn’t reek of sulfur, or that the view of the bog was somewhat picturesque, but that was hardly the case.  At least it was a waterfront view.

Did I mention how chauvinistic this campsite was?  The women’s restroom was conveniently placed in the same area as the washing machines; whereas, the men’s area had a take-one-leave-one library.  Please.  The only thing these dim-witted hicks are reading is a paternity suit.

PePe's

Gwendy recommended that we get some breakfast at Pepe’s.  Disregarding the flimsy facade that looks like it could blow over with a stiff breeze, we ventured inside to find that the place packed, so we took the last two seats at the bar.  Pepe's had a bit of a local vibe, and the bar conversation was lively.  Ayk shared the tweet that @StephenAtHome (Stephen Colbert) had sent out the night before.  Essentially, we retweeted in real life.

 Ayk ordered the omelet with a melange of appetizing-sounding but ultimately forgettable ingredients.

My French toast was good, but it would have been better if the fruits were fresher.

Route 1
We already got pictures driving by the Beginning of Route 1 sign, but we decided to get pictures standing next to the End Route 1 sign.

As Ayk was taking this picture, a guy walked by and said, “You’re no zero,” making an astute reference to the 0 mile marker. So, that means I could be a 1.  Thanks?  At least Ayk thought the schmuck's cheesy pick-up line was funny.

Key West: Nighttime

The Porch

For drinks we headed to The Porch, a laid-back bar that sells only craft beers and wine and manages to keep away the liquor-thirsty tourists.  The historic-home-turned-bar feels like a chill house party, only with the typical flavorless beers to be replaced with quality microbrews.  We liked it so much, we went back after dinner.

Note:  The camera's flash overpowered the mood lighting and the beer goggles effect.

This guy had it made.  He worked with the Park Service in Virginia.  He heard there was a position available in Key West.  Now he gets paid to work in a museum in Key West.  You can’t help but admire and hate someone that gets paid to do something they love in paradise.

This guy had it made, as far as homeless people were concerned.  Face it:  if you're going to be homeless, go where it's warm.  He and his buddy told dirty jokes -- some old, some new and some downright disgusting -- for only a buck.  Before we left, he asked Ayk what he does for a living.  We told him we were jobless.  "So am I," he retorted, "But how'd you get a hottie like that?"  I didn't have the heart to tell the wisecracking vagrant that even though Ayk's unemployed, he has a masters, and he does have money in the bank.

El Siboney

While we were at The Porch, we asked the locals where we should get dinner.  They all recommended El Siboney, a Cuban restaurant.  Trying to suppress our disgust for Cuban food, we asked what else they recommended.  They insisted that this restaurant would not disappoint.  It took them a while to convince us, but we figured if this restaurant managed to screw up Cuban food only 90 miles away from Cuba, then we’d give up on Cuban food forever.  For real this time, with the exception of an actual trip to Cuba.

A twenty-minute walk later (damn me and my inability to ride bikes) we finally got to the family-owned restaurant.  We weren’t too hungry, so we decided to split the basics of Cuban cuisine: ropa vieja, rice, beans, yucca fries and plantains.  Just two minutes later the server brought the food out to us.  And, wow, was that food amazing. Though we were glad to be proven wrong (Cuban food is good!), it was still sad that we knew we would probably never have Cuban food this great anywhere else.

The plantains were less sweet than I’m used to, but that just means it tasted more like a side dish than dessert.  Without a doubt, the yucca fries with the green sauce were the best part of the meal.  The yucca was paler than the typical golden-brown we expected, but looks aren’t everything.  Crunchy and fluffy, it was like eating deep-fried mashed potatoes.

The savory ropa vieja was melt-in-your-mouth delicious.  For once, my rice and beans were moist and well seasoned and not dry.

The desserts were good, but not as phenomenal as the entree and sides.  The creme caramel was delicious, and the guava cheesecake would have been unremarkable if it weren’t for the non-traditional flavor pairing.