Austin 2

Lake Travis

The Oasis is a huge bar overlooking Lake Travis a half hour away from Austin on yet another windy road.  The bar is as large and tackily decorated as Seacrets.  During the off-season, it’s as desolate as the Great Salt Lake.

Carsickness headache.

Lake Travis 

It was 22 F in Austin when we visited.  Those are icicles hanging from the bucket.

Actually, the decor is worse than Seacrets.

Lucky Lizard

Some embrace Austin’s weirdness, while others exploit it.  We went to the Lucky Lizard, which is part store, part museum, and all weird.  Its Museum of the Weird, which is the modern version of a Dime museum, showcases a few freak-show items – few real, most fake.  We even got a tarot card reading.  Unless you’re into that stuff, I would save yourself the money and just check out the store, but be prepared for the hard sell on their t-shirts.

 Bird: Real; Gator: Fake.

Fiji Mermaid: Fake 

Two-headed cow: Fake 

Lizards: Real and squirmy. 

Ayk seeking sage advice from a creepy robot.

6^th Street

Austin is the Live Music Capitol of the World.  Or so they say.  Our friends recommended we visit Stubb’s, but they didn’t have any live shows on a Wednesday night.  Instead we went to Friends and Dizzy Rooster.  They had decent cover bands, but I’m sure we would’ve seen something better if we were there on a weekend.

Ads don't lie.

Dear Austin: Parallel parking is not supposed to be front-end first.  Learn how to park properly.  It’s not that hard.  You can always try again.  (Ours is the red car actually close to the curb).

Austin 1

Texas State History Museum

After spending 10 minutes in the museum’s lobby trying to figure out whether or not we wanted to shell out the money for the tour (we are unemployed after all), one of the tour guides – wearing a black leather jacket and a black cowboy hat – asked us if we need help.  We chatted with him for a bit as he gave us sightseeing suggestions.  Oddly enough, none of them included the museum tour, and so we decided to forgo the museum tour.  As we thanked him for his tips when we headed out, he tipped his hat and wished us a good day.

Floor of the museum. 

I'm a star!

State House

With such little time to see Austin, we didn’t have time to see the Alamo an hour south.  If you’re short on time, just go get a free tour of the State House.  They give you the whole story of the Alamo while giving you some really interesting facts about Texas.  Did you know Texas was the first state to elect a woman Governor shortly after women were given the right to vote?  Kudos!

Everything is bigger in Texas.

That star is actually 8 feet across. 

Each flag represents a nation that at one time claimed ownership over Texas.

Harry Ransom Center

This free museum on the campus of the University of Texas features two permanent exhibits that were seminal in the course of history: The Gutenberg Bible -- the first book printed with movable type, and the first photograph ever taken.  The center also has new exhibits every six months, and we were able to see a Tennessee Williams exhibit as well.

Gutenberg Bible.  There were less than 300 made.

Old Testament on the left and New Testament on the right. 

It's hard to tell, but it's a 19th century French town.  Here's a clearer picture.

Drive to Austin

Texas: Home to a widely misused anti-littering campaign slogan and a buffoonish president who misused said slogan as a bellicose mantra.

I’m not sure if you know this, but Texas is huge.  So huge that apparently everything is bigger there.  So they say.  In this case, size isn’t everything.  The nine-hour long drive from Carlsbad, NM to Austin, TX is a whole lot of nothing.

More windmills.  The most exciting thing we saw for hours.

To entertain ourselves, I convinced Ayk to wear this spiffy moustache I got from a vending machine in Coachella, CA.

So dapper! Natty Boh would be proud.

Muwhaha!

Don’t think for a second that we kept those wonderful whiskers to ourselves.  He still wore it as we strolled around Fredericksburg, a quaint town a half-hour away from Austin.  If you couldn’t tell by the name, it was founded by German settlers.  We definitely got a few looks.

Flaunting his moustache wasn’t the only reason we stopped there; we also checked out a local microbrew. Makes sense, considering that’s the German’s hooch of choice.  Too bad the beer was disappointing.  A light-bodied IPA sure sounds refreshing, but this brewery forgot to add flavor.  At least we got to walk on the sidewalk drinking it.  So far, Texas ain’t that bad.

Enjoying my beer in public.

We couldn't bear to part with the moustache, so we put it on the car's radio.  We called him Ped-radio.  He became our mascot.  Driving for hours on end will make anything funny.

Road Trip from Hell

I realized I promised Texas updates; however, I got distracted with the resume process last night.  Who knew a jobless person could be so busy?  Instead of pretty pictures, I will regale - or terrify - you with a family road trip that I typed up when I was bored in Texas.  I saved it for a day I didn't feel like posting.  This is a long story, and I realize the internet has inhibited your brain from processing anything more than 140 characters, but I urge you to read it.  It’s worth it.

Most of you have wondered how we can handle such an extensive road trip.  Especially me, since I’m a bit of a girly girl.  I do love me some sequins (yes, I wrote that article).  To be honest, I’m surprised Ayk remained optimistic and energetic for this trip.  Most people gripe when they take a road trip longer than 2 hours.  I, on the other hand, have been raised to handle this type of trip.  I wasn’t given a choice.

Growing up, my dad would take us on road trips from Maryland to Seattle (and back again) that make the Griswold’s trips look like a cakewalk.  Both my dad and my mom grew up in Seattle, where most of their families live.  Rather than take the sane approach and take a flight to visit, my parents loaded their three young daughters into the minivan and headed west.  We were lucky if we stayed in motels.  Instead, my parents drove through the night, taking turns sleeping while the other drove.  Sometimes it would only take three days to get to cross the country.  Three days.  That's not an exaggeration.  For comparison, it took Ayk and I eleven days to get to California.  True, we spent three nights extra in Salt Lake City.  But still.  Three days!

Sure, lots of families take road trips.  But, clearly, not like ours.  The story that stands out in my mind (probably because it’s the most scarring) is when we went to Seattle the summer I was 8.  Before trekking west, we traveled to New Hampshire to hike in the White Mountains.  With no showers, we started to get smelly.  I hated showers at that age, so it didn’t bother me much at first.

After hiking, we swung by Maine then headed to Niagara Falls.  That’s when the restlessness began to set in.  “Dad, when are we going to take a shower?” we’d ask.  “Oh, we don’t need any showers!” he’d say.  “We’ll just let the spray from the falls clean us off.”  To this day, I’m still not sure if he was kidding.  To keep our teeth from falling out, we’d brush our teeth in gas station and McDonald’s bathrooms.  The pity from onlookers was the worst.  "Those poor children," their eyes said.  "Their family must be homeless."  Hardly.  Keep in mind, my dad could afford to stay in motels; he just decided not to.

Our desperation became vociferous when we got to the Mid-West: “Dad, we really need to take a shower!  We’re starting to get gross.”  He assured us, “Oh, we’re going to the Mall of America.  They have a log ride there where we can just stand underneath of and the water will spray us clean.”  Thankfully, the ride wasn’t running.  Have you ever been on log rides?  That water just would have made us nastier.

After Minneapolis, we were so close to Seattle that we relented from pestering my dad for shower breaks.  There was no point in trying to change his mind at this point.  We just sat in the car quietly awaiting our relaxing showers in Seattle.  Too bad fate's a cruel bitch.  On a whim, my dad decided we should take a long detour to Yellowstone National Park.  Now, if you weren’t already aware of my bitter resentment towards Wyoming, allow me to reiterate: IT SUCKS.  Looking back on this story only reinforces that hatred.

“NO!” we each shrieked.  “We want to take showers!  What’s in Yellowstone, anyway?”  My dad told us about the famed geyser Old Faithful.  “Why are we taking a 10-hour detour to see an old man?” I asked, mistaking it for a “geezer” (Ayk's note: Or perhaps "guy, sir"?).  I was 8; give me a break.  Once my dad explained what it was, he told us that the spray from the geyser could clean us off.  Not even the scalding steam could clean the filth caked on us.

We left Wyoming listless, which is to be expected from any trip to that hellhole.  Late in the night we finally reached Seattle.  The first thing we did when we got there was take a long bath.  After a short stay with family, we headed back to the East Coast and suffered through yet another showerless drive until we got home.

Carlsbad Caverns 2

It's really worth overcoming the irrational fear that the cavern is going to devour you.  For a second, you feel like you're on a different planet. Here's more, if you haven't gotten your fill yet.

I guess I'm fairly jittery, because most of my pictures didn't turn out that well in the low light (note: any light you see is artificial; otherwise, it'd be pitch black).  Ayk took over as photographer and took these awesome pictures.

 

Lion's Tail

There is actually no color on this stalagmite, but merely what my camera and editing software felt it should look like.  With a little imagination, it looks like an enchanting island with tiers of trees where little creatures live.

Now this just looks like a boob.

Ladder to the Bottomless Pit

Me shimmying on the trail to alleviate boredom.  Ayk asked me why I got so bored, considering how beautiful the caverns are.  My explanation: We couldn't speak above a whisper and he had the audio tour guide; I just had to shimmy.

Another enchanted forest

Definitely our favorite picture from the caverns.

Another lion's tail

A Broadway light director designed the lighting in the caverns.  Can't you tell?  FABULOUS!

 

The most difficult part about editing these pictures: determining which side was up and which side was down.  However, we are fairly confident that no sideways pictures sneaked their way in.