Keep Austin Weird

Austin's weird. It’s a lot like Hampden without the 60s campy flair.  But a lot weirder.  I dig it, since I'm weird myself.  I actually prefer "quirky"; It sounds more endearing.  Intrigued by the city’s celebration of their eccentricity, I asked a couple of locals for their theories on how their fair city became so peculiar.  Ayk and I threw in a few theories of our own.  It's a bit of reading, so I threw in some pictures of weird signs in Austin for those of you who need a break from words.

Pangaea Epicenter Theory

Our server at Ruby’s says that Austin’s appeal to the unique is a matter of location, location, location. Thousands of years ago, all the continents one huge landmass called Pangaea.  The moment when continents collided creating Pangaea, Austin was at the center of the new landmass.  This geologic energy of this new formation drew in all types of people.  This is a weird theory about weirdness proposed by a weird person, so you have to be inclined to believe it.

Liberal Haven Theory

Texas is a largely conservative state.  Oddly enough, its capital is a very liberal city.  Ayk and I theorize that it’s become a refuge for any Texan who doesn’t fit into the standard-issue Bible-wielding, rootin’-tootin’ mold.  Once they reach their newfound liberal haven, they just break free and let it all hang out.  The University of Texas probably served as the rallying point for this weirdness at some point in the past.

Support Local Shops Theory

While enjoying a beer on a 6th Street bar, we asked our bartender why he thinks Austin’s weird.  He wasn’t into the whole “weird” scene.  His interpretation for the “Keep Austin Weird” slogan was really an effort to show their pride in their local businesses.  Unlike most cities taken over by large retailers, most national chains don’t last long in Austin.  Instead, the locals favor the mom-and-pop shops.  That warmed my heart, since the store I managed was a local store.  Their slogan beats Baltimore’s “Believe” campaign.

Sign on the left: "Shop Weird.  Shop Local.  Shop Toy Joy."

Weird Water Theory

Taking the “It must be something in the water” as a serious theory seems like a cop out, but if I had to drink and bathe in that water all the time, I’d be weird (er) too.  It’s honestly the worst water I’ve ever tasted.  Don’t ask me to describe what it tastes like, because it's a medley of every disgusting water I’ve ever tasted concentrated in one glass.  It might as well be the sweat collected from Satan’s ass.  Yes, it’s that awful.  When I ordered a glass of water at the bar, the bartender asked, “Lime or lemon?”  I responded, “Both," but even the dual citrus couldn't mask its nastiness.  Maybe all that geological energy under Austin made its way into the water supply.

Just in time for Valentine's Day